


A Goth too must love (Sirius Black/Bellatrix Black)

by eldritcher



Series: The Black Tales [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Wartime, Wartime Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:43:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2371556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eldritcher/pseuds/eldritcher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius is pants at chess, and obsessed with a cousin, who is obsessed with the Dark Lord.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Goth too must love (Sirius Black/Bellatrix Black)

Sirius Black is pants at chess and what’s in his pants is too much interested in his cousin who likes meat.

  
~~~

 

“Did you know that there is Goth blood in the Blacks?” Moony asked me.

We had been playing chess. I was trying to manage a respectable loss instead of the usual rout that was my fate at his hands.

He should have been studying for the O.W.L.s. I didn’t need to. My family had influence enough and gold enough to ensure that I never would need anything. Not so for him. He was poor and the taint in his blood made sure that he would need every single advantage he could lay his hands on. That made him determined and desperate, a dangerous combination, as I had after countless defeats in chess realised. I could not blame him. Lily Evans was wrong. Not everyone was born equal.

“Goth blood?” I asked, humouring him, even as he humoured me when I gamely went on with moves brash and guaranteed to grant him a rout at my expense again.

“Visigoths,” he said, excitement shining bright in his eyes.

He was taken up with my family lineage. It was something he would never know. I pitied him and decided to have mercy. He was merciful enough. In fact, for someone so poor and disadvantaged, he was too kind and gentle. Why, the other day, he had even had the heart to go and ask Snivellus if he was all right after the ugly bastard had fallen for one of James’ pranks. A hex from the nasty sod had seen Moony in the Hospital Wing. I made sure to tell the fool that he had deserved it. Moony thought that since they were both poor and outcast they must have something in common. Snivellus had a lot in common with only one being in the Castle - the Squid; slime and stink.

“Visigoths?” I asked.

My King had decided that he would take no more of this slow defeat. He made a brash advance towards Moony’s pieces and quickly went down. I sighed. That had been one of my worst games with Moony. One would think that I would get better at this.

“Yes, apparently one of your forefathers married a Spanish woman who was a direct descendant of Alaric I!”

I scratched my stubble and looked at him. Patience. My mother said I had none of it. What did she know?

“That must have been old Sirius who got blasted off the tree for marrying a Mudblood,” I told Moony. “He married a Spanish wench.”

“He married a woman from the Asturias, the Spanish royal house!” Moony exclaimed. “Wasn’t that good enough for the Blacks?”

“You would be surprised at what the Blacks consider a good match, Moony,” I told him seriously. “On second thoughts, it is best that I never tell you.”

He looked dubious. I rolled my eyes and rescued my King, who was being buggered hard by Moony’s knights.

Later, that night, after sneaking out to the Kitchens with James, I came back to find Moony fallen asleep in the Common Room, nestled in one of the comfy chairs. I rolled my eyes and waved James off, before coming to Moony and taking the heavy book that had sent him to the land of Nod off his lap.

My eyes landed on the picture of my cousin with a man who looked rather too much like me. They were moving in the picture, moving against each other, their groins clashing and their lips battling. I felt myself get hard. The man gave me a wink and then pulled his companion’s full, green skirts up (there were layers of them and petticoats beneath) and stuck his fingers (two of them) deep in a place that made her moan and surrender. He shuddered in victory, as did I.

“Padfoot?”

I looked up to find Moony watching me. I tried to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse mutter.

“Are you all right?”

I did not reply, instead closing the book to see its title. “Toujours Pur”. This must have been the unauthorised biography about my family that had been the subject of much scandal fifty years ago. Uncle Alphard had a copy, but in my house it was forbidden to speak of it.

“I found it in the library,” Moony explained.

In the Restricted Section, no doubt. There was one too many stories of Dark Curses, incest and fratricide in this book. With the Blacks, it was hard to tell what was fiction and what was not. I suspected the author of the book (who had been killed in a duel with my grandfather) did not know half of the more sordid truths about my family.

“I was reading about the Spanish woman and her marriage to your forefather,” Moony was saying.

I paid him scant attention, as I wondered how the hell I was going to stop panting after my cousin during the holidays. I wanted to stick my fingers deep in her and make her surrender.

~~~

The days that followed were difficult. I woke in the mornings to the evidence of my unusual interest in my cousin. My dreams were insane, even for one of the Blacks. I dreamed of being Padfoot and then doing unspeakable things to her.

Lust was a strange thing, my mother often said. She would know. She had been panting after the Dark Lord for years. That was sickening. It never failed to turn my stomach when she spoke of him, or when she spoke to him during one of the dinners she frequently hosted him at.

“You look as if you ate a slug,” James commented.

“Just thinking of my mother and the Dark Lord,” I muttered.

James had been trying to fix his hair. He gave it up and came over to sit by my side. With an unusual expression of seriousness, he looked all adult. I tried to laugh it off, but he frowned and said, “You should stay with my family this summer. My parents will be very happy to host you. Don’t return to that madhouse.”

I grinned at him, saying, “I can deal with them.”

“I don’t want you to have to,” he said. He meant it.

I wondered what I had done to gain his friendship. Maybe some cosmic being had decided to compensate for the Family. I thought about his offer. I wanted to go and stay with his family. They were decent folks. I really liked them. And spending the summer with James would be damn great. Compared to the Family and the constant parties to fete the Dark Lord, it would be paradise.

Why did I say no?

~~~

“Heard you tried to kill Snivellus,” was my cousin’s greeting when I sat down for dinner with the Family.

Her elder sister, sitting beside her, grimaced as she heard that. Andromeda’s cheeks looked like inflated balloons. My mother had commented that they would need to pay a big dowry to get that one married off.

“He’s alive,” I told Bella. The girl looked poised and refined, the wine warming her cheeks and the candle light making her look like a young goddess. Damn, she was wearing green.

Her eyes were sparkling with malice as she snorted and said, “Next time, make sure he isn’t.”

“He’s your Housemate,” I pointed out, picking up my cutlery and trying my best to will my arousal away. “Do it yourself.”

“Can’t be bothered to,” she said daintily, cutting through her meat with finesse. She liked meat.

“Stop it!” Cissy, seated beside me, intervened. “Why do you both hate Severus so?”

“He exists,” I said as the same Bella did. Our eyes met and there was interest in hers. Damn.

“I think you are both mean!” Cissy said.

Andromeda looked upset. She didn’t fit in with the Family much. Hopefully, the man she was married off to would be saner than we were. She looked like a duck among eagles. Cissy, on the other hand, was shrill about her dislikes and got her tears to work for her when her wand didn’t.

At the head of the table, my father was holding court. My mother looked as demented as she always did, as she listened to him. Uncle Cygnus looked no better. Aunt Druella looked as well as ever, her age seemingly frozen by the blood of whatever creature she bathed in.

Later that night, after dinner, we were gathered in the sitting room. My father looked pensive. They gathered us only when there was news. The last time, it had been when Uncle Alphard’s wife had been killed by Uncle Cygnus. They had wanted to teach us a lesson about what happened to Blacks who were blasted off the Family tree. Reggie had cried for nights after that. He was a sensitive sod. He would grow out of it. I did.

“Abraxas Malfoy is hosting the Dark Lord,” my mother began.

I suppressed a groan. Was it more of this?

“We cannot allow him to be more favoured than we are. We need to cement our ties to the Dark Lord,” she continued passionately. The crone believed in it too. Damn. Moony had nothing to be jealous of, not where my family was concerned.

“That is going to be difficult,” Cissy spoke up. She always did. She wasn’t afraid of the elders. They would have caned the rest of us for speaking up. Cissy, on the other hand, was cute and such a sweetling and had everyone eating out of her hand. Everyone, except Bella and I. I never missed a chance to make her cry. Bella, though, Bella liked making her beg.

“Why?” Uncle Cygnus asked, humouring the girl.

“The Dark Lord loves Mr. Malfoy,” Cissy explained patiently, as if we were all idiots. “It is known.”

My mother rolled her eyes. Bella’s right hand crept down Cissy’s thigh and pinched her hard. The girl turned white. She wouldn’t speak up again. Served her right too. Reggie was trying to look at what Bella had pinched. I was more interested in the fierce jubilation on Bella’s face. Damn, the girl was irresistible when she did something like this.

“He’ll love a girl,” my father said. “He’ll love a Black girl. And that will be the end of it.”

Cissy looked shocked. Andromeda looked relieved. She was certain that she was too fat to be given to the Dark Lord. I realised why she had gorged on food all year. She must have known.

“No!” I spoke up, horrified at the plan. Bella, who had every right to look more horrified than I did, was glaring at me.

“He doesn’t even like women,” Cissy tried, her eyes huge with fear as she realised, just as I had done scant moments earlier, what it meant for Bella. Cissy liked Bella, even if Bella was hurtful and cruel. Cissy liked Andromeda, even if Andromeda was a cow. Cissy liked everyone, and had tantrums when we wouldn’t get along.

“If he doesn’t, then we’ll give him a boy,” my mother said briskly. They were all looking at me then. I swore.

“No!” Cissy said, crying now.

“Shut up, Cissy,” Aunt Druella said.

Cissy bawled and ran upstairs. I wished I could do the same. I wished that I had stayed with James. Reggie was clutching my hand tightly. That night, when he crept into my bed and asked to be held, I didn’t have the heart to make the usual barbs. Instead I just held him and let him sob.

I think it was that night that I knew I would kill my father, for having stood by quietly while my mad mother pledged us to serve a Dark Lord’s cock. Did the Dark Lord even have one? James had said once that only a tosspot who couldn’t get laid would become so evil.

~~~

Midsummer’s eve brought the highest echelons of Pure blood society to Aunt Druella’s gardens. She was the perfect hostess, taking care to greet everyone warmly, even when she didn’t approve of them. Uncle Cygnus was seated with my father and several other men, their talk boisterous.

“Abraxas Malfoy and his cane!” somebody announced.

Everyone cheered on as the widower made his trademark extravagant bow in acknowledgement.

“Walburga, you look as beautiful as ever,” he told my mother, who suffered his kiss on her cheek. My mother would have liked nothing better than to choke him dead. She had often said so. She envied him.

She was mad.

Then the Dark Lord came. He was his usual charming self, paying compliments to the hostess, and respectfully greeting the host. I thought I saw his eyes linger more than was necessary on Bella’s luscious bosom as he bent to press a kiss on her hand. She looked like a feast today, all decked in the finest silks. Was she wearing a corset? She had recently taken to wearing them. I had caught her lacing up once, when I had gone up to her room to return a book. Why hadn’t she locked her door? Her eyes had met mine in the mirror and she had smiled knowingly when she turned to see the bulge below my waist. Did she know that I wanted to tighten those laces until her breathy moans declared her surrender?

The Dark Lord had managed a graceful escape from my mother’s clutches and retreated to where Abraxas Malfoy stood. They did the rounds together, as they did always, with Abraxas introducing the guests and the Dark Lord charming them.

“Is it true, Sirius?” Reggie asked, as he stood beside me. He had been reluctant to leave my side after that announcement in the sitting room.

“Is what true?”

“Do they…do they fuck?”

I laughed for the first time that summer and gave my brother a shove saying, “He doesn’t even have one.”

“Really?” Reggie’s eyes were huge, a bit like Cissy’s, truth be told. The eyes were less irritating on him than they were on her.

My good humour vanished sharply as the evening went on. My mother and Aunt Druella were fussing over Bella’s hairdo and makeup. My father and Uncle Cygnus had managed to extricate the Dark Lord from Mr. Malfoy’s hold and had talked him into coming back to Grimmauld Place and opening a new bottle of port while they talked about the galleons for his campaign.

I didn’t sleep that night. Instead, I prowled in the backyard, full of anger and hatred, as my active mind threw up sickening images of what might be going on in the guest bedroom. I was more worried that he might kill her than anything else he might do to her. Bile rose in my throat. The door to the garden opened. I stayed still. I knew that profile. It was the Dark Lord. What had he done to her? Had he killed her? My cheeks were wet with tears.

“Come here,” he said sharply, looking right at me.

I stayed where I was.

“Come here, boy,” he said, now impatient. He flicked a finger and I was dragged to him by the inexorable force of his magic.

“You love the girl,” he said, his eyes boring into my mind and digging out my secrets. “Well, good luck then. You’ll need all of it.”

“What did you do to her?” I croaked. I was afraid of him, all my life, until this night when he had been given her. Now I wanted to do to him whatever he had done to hurt her.

He looked surprised. Then he said, “Nothing that she wanted.”

With that, he Disapparated.

I rushed into the house, up the flights of the stairs, to the bedroom that he had been given. The door was still open. Bella was there, nude, and crying on the bed.

“Bella?” I whispered, fearing to approach her. What had he done? She had never cried, not in my memory.

“Go away!” she screamed. Her sobs were heartrending. I went to her slowly, not wanting to spook her, took off my elaborate outer robes worn for that evening’s party, and gently covered her with them.

“Go away,” she said again. There was such self-hatred in her voice that I wanted to kill the Dark Lord and my mother immediately.

“Shhh,” I told her. “Shh, it is all right.”

Then I began singing to her. She cried and cried, and finally slept.

~~

She did not speak to anybody much after that. Cissy tried to draw her out in vain. My mother acted as if she didn’t exist. Aunt Druella looked sad. My father had started looking at me as if seeing me for the first time.

Abraxas Malfoy held a party right before the summer’s end. I had no interest in attending, but I had learned to pick my battles. My mother wanted me there. I would be there. Only two more days, I told myself, before I would be back at Hogwarts. I would beg James to take me to his home next year. I knew I would rather die than come back here.

Lucius was the one who welcomed us. Malfoy was grooming his son carefully to take his place. Unlike my father, Malfoy was more paternal. He had also taken in a greasy sod that Bella and I had both wanted dead. Lucius was keeping Snivellus close, no doubt worried that one of us would try and harm the worm. Snivellus, for his part, seemed more interested in the gaiety and splendour all around him than in trying to pick a brawl with me. His eyes were round in astonishment as he took in the sights. Hate rose high in me.

“I wish he dies soon,” Bella muttered, as she caught sight of where my gaze was fixed on.

“I hope so too,” I said, glad that she was finally speaking, even if it was just to wish a greasy sod dead.

“Aunt Walburga wants you to see her after dinner,” she told me.

She sounded very sad. I turned to look at her.

“What for?”

She shrugged.

I went to Mother after the dinner. Whatever it was, it would be only two more days before I returned to school.

“Sirius!” my mother gushed. I was suspicious and tried to resist her embrace. She smelled of cloying perfume and wine.

She caught my wrist in a strong grip and led me up two flights of stairs, to where the guest rooms were. I stopped, realisation dawning on my mind finally.

“No,” I said, and wrested my hand out of her grip. She snarled and pulled me again. My wand was with me and I didn’t regret Stunning her.

Then I was caught again, this time by my father. Aunt Druella had Disarmed me. She nodded at my father, who, without a word spoken, dragged me to the room where awaited my doom.

“For Bella,” Aunt Druella told me calmly. “If it isn’t you, it will be her.”

I quieted down and stopped fighting. I was thrown in, and stripped in silence. I sat at the edge of the large bed, in that extravagantly appointed room and waited.

For Bella.

I would rather it was me any time, instead of her. She had been through this once, and it had been one time too many.

The door opened and the Dark Lord stepped in, humming to himself. Laughter bubbled in me, desperate and mad, as his humming continued. He saw me then, and the candles came to life. For a moment, before he turned stern and blank, I thought I saw surprise in his eyes.

He waved his hand. Bruises as bright as Cissy’s favourite roses turned up on my skin. I did not hurt, though. Is this how the bastard wanted to start?

“Tell Walburga I buggered you hard and am quite satisfied,” he said briskly. “You’ll have to wait for a few hours before leaving.”

With that, he went to the desk and sat down, and began writing. I sat there, shivering, and waiting. He did not look up. It was the longest night of my life. It could have been hours later, or mere minutes later, that a knock on the door broke the quiet.

“Come in, Malfoy,” the Dark Lord called out.

Mr. Malfoy came in. He sighed when he saw me on the bed. He took off his luxurious robe and came to me to gently wrap my nakedness in it, as I had done for Bella many nights before.

“Your mother is insane,” he told me gently. “You are safe here, all right?”

Abraxas Malfoy was a gentle man, so many said. My mother hated him.

“He seems to have gone into shock,” Mr. Malfoy said. “Is it necessary to keep him here?”

“Walburga would only keep sending them,” the Dark Lord pointed out. “The others are younger.”

“I’ll come back,” I said quickly, imagining little Cissy or Reggie in my place, or worse, Bella. What had she gone through?

“Really, stop fretting,” the Dark Lord said impatiently. “I kept her there as long as necessary as thought it might be for Walburga to be not suspicious. Now calm your mind. The clamour is disturbing.”

Abraxas sat down on the bed beside me and patted my shoulder. The touch undid me. I started sobbing great, dry sobs. He said nothing as he sat there and patted me. After an hour had passed, he gently took my hand and led me out. He took me to the nearest fireplace and handed me a box of Floo powder.

I looked up at him and asked hoarsely, “Bella? She was crying. She never cries.”

“He did not touch her. She was distraught merely because she is Walburga’s niece,” Abraxas said, sadness bright in his eyes. Something cold and horrible clung dawned. She had wanted it.

“Don’t worry yourself over it,” Abraxas insisted, pressing the box of Floo powder into my hands. “You’ll have to come here since your mother wants it, especially since you are going to report to her that you have succeeded. The House of Black is too powerful to be offended by saying no.”

~~~

It went on for two more nights. My mother sent me to the Dark Lord, to Malfoy Manor, where he was staying. I was put up in the same guest room for two hours before I was taken to the Floo and sent back home. I wasn’t touched. Bella hated me. I saw it in her bright, black eyes. Cissy and Reggie were worried to death for me and waited up until I was back. Bella, though, she had murder in her eyes when I told the Family that I had succeeded in keeping the Dark Lord entertained enough for him to want more.

The second night, when I had just Flooed in for this charade held for my mother’s benefit, there was nobody to greet me. I decided to go down to the parlour and wait for Mr. Malfoy. He had told me to do so if I wanted to meet him after bedtime. He stayed up late, he had said. Perhaps he had spoken the truth. Perhaps it was merely that he felt obligated to stay up until I had been safely sent back to my mad family. He did not approve of many things.

Voices drifted from the parlour. I paused.

“At least this one doesn’t want to be bedded,” the Dark Lord was saying. He sounded irritated. “The other one was a bitch in heat.”

I was angry. I hated my parents and hers for having decided upon this course. I hated the Dark Lord and all that he stood for. I hated myself for being here to spare the others. And I hated Bella, who had really, really wanted to be taken by this monster. She could have had anybody. She could have had me. She still could, and that I hated most of all.

“Bella is a young girl. She doesn’t know better than what she has been told,” Mr. Malfoy sounded as if he was trying to convince himself of it.

“If I weren’t aware of the madness that runs in their blood, I would have suspected that she was forced. Really, though, she was gagging for it. It was all I could do to keep her unharmed and at an arm’s distance. And I had thought that Walburga was the worst.”

“Now, don’t,” Abraxas said sharply. “Riddle, Bella is loyal. The Blacks are mad, but fanatical. You should bed them if they want to be bedded, or at least pretend that you have. I can only give you money, but they can give you fanatic loyalty. Moreover, I am aging. Bella Black will grow into a powerful witch. Sirius is powerful as well. Taking one of them to bed will only do a world of good to the cause.”

“You think they will be able to temper me, as you have,” the Dark Lord laughed. It was a cold, cruel laugh. “Malfoy, when will you see that you temper me only because I let you?”

Mr. Malfoy did not reply to that.

“Now, put these thoughts of aging out of your head and find the boy. He should be here. See to him, will you? I am tired of the Blacks. They can fuck each other and leave me out of it.”

“They usually do,” Mr. Malfoy said. “They are quite insistent about it too. Walburga is making an exception for you.” Now he sounded teasing. “Why, even young Bella seems to have made an exception for you. You are exceptional, indeed, in the eyes of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black.”

“You are going to twit me about it for a long time, aren’t you?”

“Only if you let me. After all, I temper you only because you let me.”

“You are jealous.”

“No, I am not.”

“You are.”

“Of Walburga?”

“No, you are jealous of Bella Black and the boy.”

“They are young, and pretty, and they want you.“

“Bella Black wants to suck a powerful man’s cock. The boy wants Bella Black. It is all quite petty. There is nothing to be jealous of.”

“All men are petty, then.”

“I would disagree,” the Dark Lord said. I expected some egotistic statement to follow that, but none did.

Abraxas merely laughed, a tad self-consciously, and took his leave. He found me in the corridor, and like the man everyone said he was, he gently enquired about my well-being and asked me to take supper with him and then play a game of chess with him before I had to return to my mother’s madhouse.

~~~

“Mate, your eyes are stuck on her,” James said.

“Blacks obsess over their object of affection,” Moony said helpfully. “I read about it in Toujours Pur.”

Moony obsessed over me. I knew that. And I obsessed over my cousin. She obsessed over the Dark Lord.

“You don’t want to fuck her,” James said seriously. “She is nuts. Fuck Snivellus, if you want to, but stay away from Bellatrix.”

“I suppose I could always Polyjuice into the Dark Lord, if I had his hair.”

James and Moony both crinkled their noses in disgust and demanded why I would do such a thing. I frowned at Moony. It was all his fault, for falling asleep that day and leaving the book open.

~~~

When Bella took the Mark, Reggie was surprised. Cissy and I weren’t. We had seen her obsession.

“It is only that he doesn’t want her that keeps her safe,” Cissy told me one day. I had been blasted off the Family tree after I had refused to return for the Christmas holidays. I had no plans of returning at all. Cissy was forbidden to speak to me, but she often did.

She was biting her lower lip in worry as she wondered about Bella’s situation. “What if he changes his mind?”

“He won’t,” I promised her grimly. “Not as long as Abraxas Malfoy lives.”

She nodded, her eyes full of tears. She did not ask what would happen after.

“You love her, don’t you?”

I didn’t reply. She hesitated, and asked me, “Will you marry her?”

“I don’t think I’ll be allowed to, Cissy,” I said wearily. “If I return to the Family, they will want me to return to the Dark Lord’s bed. If I stay where I am, I would be worried more about my survival than my marriage prospects.”

“Bella wants you to return.”

“I know.”

“I want you to return too,” she said in a small voice. “But I want you to be safe too. I don’t think home will be safe until they all die.”

“Ssh,” I said softly, lifting her chin up and wiping her tears off. “You will be all right.”

She nodded solemnly.

“How charming!”

It was Bella. Her wand was drawn. We were at the far end of the Quidditch pitch, and it had been raining. The place was deserted and Cissy had been sure that word of our meeting wouldn’t reach Bella.

“Cissy, return,” I told her sharply, knowing well the madness in her sister’s eyes.

“But you-“

“Cissy!” I barked, and she ran away.

“Nasty Sirius scaring ickie Cissy?” Bella asked, sing-song.

The rain had her hair plastered to her skin. Her clothes clung tight to her and I could see her nipples perkily pointed at me. Was it the rain? Was it the confrontation? I knew well that it wasn’t me.

“You want me, don’t you?” she crooned.

“No,” I lied.

We had been circling, as wolves gearing for battle. She smirked and walked to me, then, and bit my left ear, after which she whispered into it, “You are begging for it, cur. ”

“I heard you begged the Dark Lord and he refused,” I taunted.

She lost it then. Snarling and heaving, she began Cursing. The spells became Darker, our anger flamed brighter, and lust soared high in our eyes. The rain serenaded our madness.

“Stop it!” Cissy was saying. She had returned. Foolish girl. She was stamping her feet, demanding to be heard.

We went on, flinging Curses at each other, as if we had never loved. Perhaps we hadn’t. Perhaps the man and the woman who had ground themselves against each other in Moony’s book had been hateful too, and had only wanted victory.

“He’s never going to fuck you,” I called out to my opponent. “He said you were a bitch in heat gagging for it. He was disgusted by you, Bella. You disgust him!”

“NO!” She screamed and let loose a flurry of mad curses that only my mother’s tender hand during my childhood had prepared me for. I danced my way away from them, and attacked her again. She looked like a pagan war-deity, all wild and mad and hateful. She looked beautiful and I wanted her.

She wanted me too. She wanted me dead.

I sliced open her wand-arm and she cut a swathe through my left thigh.

Finally, I made it through with a powerful curse that shattered her ankles both. She fell gracelessly like a puppet from cut strings. I Disarmed her lazily and walked over. Cissy, shrieking and crying, had run back, perhaps to find someone.

“Are you going to take me now?” Bella spat.

I sat down on my haunches near her panting, bleeding form, and said maliciously, “Only if you are gagging for it.”

“What will you do otherwise? Cry for Dumbledore and run away? Like you did when you tried to kill Snivellus?”

“No,” I told her seriously. “I will kill you. If you beg me, I will take you before I kill you. You are too dangerous and mad to be left to live.”

I had thought about it often. I had thought about it during the duel itself. Bella was insane. She needed to be stopped. I would rather she was dead and I was mourning her, than that she was alive and I was mourning the rest of my world.

“That’s quite enough!” Professor Dumbledore’s voice resounded through the pitch.

My wand and hers flew through the air in sweeping arcs to the professor’s waiting hand. Madam Pomfrey followed, clucking and gently treating Bella’s wounds. Cissy came on their tails, her face drawn and white. She had expected to find one of us dead. I wondered whom she had wanted alive.

“You should let me kill her when I can,” I told the old man.

“Mr. Black, justice is not yours to deal out,” he said, looking solemn and sad. He reminded me of Mr. Malfoy.

“Do I have to wait for someone I care about to die at her hands before I can justify killing her?” I spat. I did not wait for his answer. I left. I could hear Bella’s laughter following me as a taunt on the rain.

~~~

“You should have finished,” Cissy told me, much later, when she had crept into the Kitchens and found me there feasting on vanilla ice-cream.

“She is your sister,” I reminded her.

“You love her,” she reminded me, sitting down and digging into the ice-cream with a dainty spoon.

I didn’t reply.

“You should have,” she insisted. “She is going to kill everyone now.”

Cissy was right. I knew that. I had known that.

“She is going to kill you,” Cissy continued softly, looking sad but convinced of her words.

I knew that too.

~~~


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